I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
