no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i think i just lost a toe
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize