***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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