Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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