she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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