Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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