I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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