that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
