East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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