I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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