Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
