he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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