Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
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