There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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