But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
