ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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