You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Actions speak louder than pants.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
