yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
