with your own penis?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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