I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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