Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
