You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
