thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
no, he came in my armpit
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
