At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
