I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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