Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
