So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
