Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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