I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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