If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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