actually, I'm a sock model
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
