recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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