I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
