She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize