I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
