dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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