At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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