I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I met the friendliest cop last night
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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