Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize