Kiss
Puke
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
