Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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