Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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