We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
