After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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