But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize