she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
