hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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