Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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