I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize