yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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