About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
