Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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