I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How external is "for external use only"?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
