Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
