can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
