shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
