I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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