yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
