handjob tips. give me some.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
