I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
