grandma shit on top of the toilet
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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